donderdag 23 juni 2011

recovering



I have been ill, so ill I have camped on the couch for two weeks at an end. And still I am dead tired. Naturally I have not made any paintings,nor drawings, had not even plans for one. Insteed I have been feeling very sorry for myself, coughing and sweeting and sleeping and dreaming a lot. It was not easy to be that ill, this time, having lots of troubles privatly. It made me restless and anxious for the near future. And I could not do a thing about it. Have you ever felt that beaten?
It left me quite lost, and I suffered many tears because of it. I missed my mum so much for her wise words and comfort, that it made me even more crying.
But then the fever broke, and I started thinking.....in my head all was changed. My perception of the people around me, my perception of God, and my life in general. Got a lot of thinking done...had all the time for it between sleeping and eating. And now, still feeling tired, and still not wholy better, I am a new person. Or should I say....I have reset my mind to an earlier date, and that feels a lot more comfortable.

There are things you just cannot change without damage....more about that later on in another blog.

While searching for importand papers I found these little sketches above. Made it just after my divorce. Me and the kids, 2 and 4 years old they were. I pictured them as the little balls inside my hand, they had to be protected against the storm that was going on. 8 years later I see potential in these little sketches and I think they will be the design of my first BIG painting for this year. I am looking forward to painting again...yeah, I really do!

~

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