zondag 4 september 2011

Ow dear

I don't know what it is but I am crying over everthing these days. Songs, pictures, tv programs(the challenge), you name it and I am crying. I remeber me crying this way when I was pregnant. It did not take much to let the tears flow then. But I am not pregnant this time, and yes I am sure about that. Since the Holy Ghost is not impregnating women anymore I am defenitly not pregnant.
But none the less very much crying, very sentimental, very sensitive.
I know I am still mourning,
still missing, and still wishing,
but it feels different. It comes from deep within. Something is freeing itself, breaking loose,transforming.
And while doing that, I am crying my heart out. Letting go of the old dream of finding my soulmate, and have children with him. It will never happen. I have to let go.....accept that it is not for me....that what I have is what I got, and that it is all there is. I am so lucky to have my children. I do have that.....and even that is making me cry....

Anyways,
the new schoolyear will start tomorrow and I am not even prepared,
O my God I will start crying wwwoooooohhhhhh

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