small wonders of september

Small wonders
- Very blessed with son's new school who adjusted his lessonplan so he can get used to highschool(he has a form of autism)
- Discovered a sence of peace within wich makes me soft and flexible as a stalk of reed.
- Discovered God within, he is there wherever I am
- Paid of a very big debt which alsmost killed us this last year (so thankfull and proud I made it)
- Thankfull that my neighbours burried the hatchet, even being nice for the kids (Bless you)

Celebrate every day again, in loving myself and my kids as much as I can.....and plan a little party....

chalenges were
- Keeping faith in Gods plan with the authorities who distrust my opinion concerning son
- Stay possitive while friends withdraw without as much as an explanation

themes of the month
getting the right help for son
get enough rest in between al the hassle

my intentions and key focus areas;
- Pray to God that all my wishes will come true.
- Enjoy every minute as if it were the last(I'm keeping this one)
- Learn more about autism so the family coach won't overwhelm me with his ways of discipline children
- Planning a little party for next month to celebrate the first two paid (very big) debts. 4 more (smaller ones) to go
- Keep praying.....
- Hoping I will get to painting again

Where is God

Lying on my sickbed feeling very desolate and lonlely I turned to God. I had so many questions I wanted to be answered. Having heavy storms in my life I asked

WHY GOD?????

I was dissapointed, for all the troubles I underwent.
Where was God in all this?
I did not feel sheltered in Him, I did not feel save. Something was defenitly wrong here.

It took me a lot of thinking you know, to discover why.
When first walking the path of faith I was touched by Him, which left me glowing and sparkling all over. I felt it within! God was the source and I was connected. It felt as naturall as could be.
But since I went to church I got immersed in a whole different idea of God. God was our heavenly father, to whom we go in need. He will provide for us. He is pictured infenitely good but at the same time he is a jealous God whom we have to fear. He also demands total surrender. It kept me worrying and worrying....

What did I do wrong?
"What can you give God?"They ask on the pulpit. Since we have al the things we have from God we are supposed to give one tenth back(to the church),only then blessings will come in.
I have not the means to pay tithes...is this the reason for our misfortune?
"What do you do for God?" Is the other question I hear every week.But what on earth can I do for God who is Spirit? And when I do 'nothing', it can even cost me my life? Like the very sick woman who was asked three times what she did for God and not being able to answer...she died, "there is no messing about with God", the preacher said to us when he mentioned this example.
I do not do anything for God(church?) so is this the reason for all our troubles?

And so I lost my connection with God.....
I did not hear his whispers nor feel his love within me. Cause I did not know who he was anymore.
Luckily I got ill and the fever burned al the wrong views of Him away.
God is the light within me, the source I came from, the love which fills me everyday, the strength that keeps me going. God is the universe, God is the essence of life. He has no form, He has no feelings, He just is. And all He askes of us is to stay pure, peacefull and loving in all we do.
I am so glad I found Him all over again!

small wonders of may

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It's time to make my list of small wonders again. I have been very bussy the past month,redesigning my Bib-art site. Working on my linkedin and paintings. My friend has offered me her expertise. I am so happy with that.

My small wonders of last month were:
- Again featured on RedBubble with "Joy" and "Filled with expectation" and "Dreaming".
- Have been fed by friend and friend(thank you so much for sharing your food with us, Bless You!!!!)
- Have been painting like crazy for a while, made "Spread your wings..." and "Maiden",and more lies on the shelf* half finished.
- Done lots of homework for my creative bussiness under the guard of my friend. She is helping me with crossmediale-marketing. I am so blessed with her!!!!!
- Thinking out ideas for selling on the market here in the summer. Vey much inspired.
- Had lots of compliments about my work which makes me so happy.

I am going to eat a lot of cake and sip lots of teas to celebrate it!

Chalenges were:
- The moodswings of son and feeding and clothing my kids on a extreemly low budget.

Themes of the month:
-Keeping up the faith that I will get through this.
-Reaching out for help.

My intentions and key focus areas:
- learning more about marketing
- Launching my send a smile(still on the list ;-)
- Launching my etsy(the same as above)
- Unclutting my home.
- Painting and drawing and crochet at my hearts content.
- Fill in all the forms for financial help for the poor.(and cross my fingers afterwards)
- Enjoy every minute as if it were the last.(which is not easy in these circumstances.
- Pray to God that all my wishes will come true.