small wonders of september

Small wonders
- Very blessed with son's new school who adjusted his lessonplan so he can get used to highschool(he has a form of autism)
- Discovered a sence of peace within wich makes me soft and flexible as a stalk of reed.
- Discovered God within, he is there wherever I am
- Paid of a very big debt which alsmost killed us this last year (so thankfull and proud I made it)
- Thankfull that my neighbours burried the hatchet, even being nice for the kids (Bless you)

Celebrate every day again, in loving myself and my kids as much as I can.....and plan a little party....

chalenges were
- Keeping faith in Gods plan with the authorities who distrust my opinion concerning son
- Stay possitive while friends withdraw without as much as an explanation

themes of the month
getting the right help for son
get enough rest in between al the hassle

my intentions and key focus areas;
- Pray to God that all my wishes will come true.
- Enjoy every minute as if it were the last(I'm keeping this one)
- Learn more about autism so the family coach won't overwhelm me with his ways of discipline children
- Planning a little party for next month to celebrate the first two paid (very big) debts. 4 more (smaller ones) to go
- Keep praying.....
- Hoping I will get to painting again

Spread your wings and prepare to fly

"Maiden" by Bibje

"Spread your wings..." by Bibje

In progress....








Had a quiet weekend. The kids were with their dad. I had every opportunity to paint, and so I did! I finnished the "Maiden" and "Spread your wings" and started to paint on another very old painting.
I am re-painting a lot of my older works wich did not sell and which I think are not quite that good.They were a bit bland. Most of that work is on 220/300 grams aquarell paper. They are challenging because they are already painted on. I use these images for the next painting, at least that is what I intent to do. The latest painting I used and painted over and than washed it off again and painted it over...and now it looks sort of familiar but has changed a lot. Mabey I wash it all of again,or part of it, because I am not overly content with it. The beauty is that with all the washing it gets a worn look. I like that. I love the look of worn, faded, old and blurred. And still show the beauty ....

And again I have blurry pictures...I will replace them when I have made new 'non-blurry' ones. But for now, they will do to satisfy the curiosity :-)

and another

Had a productive day today(just before son got one of his angry spells and messed up everything) This is the result of my second painting. This one is also not finished but well on the way.

Isn't she pretty?
(even though she is a bit hazy ;-)

painting in progress

My friend is having her 6th baby and I am so inspired by it that I am painting a pregnant woman. It used to be a watercolour I made when longing for a baby. The baby never came, and the watercolour was not that good altogether. So I am painting it over.

this was the first attempt, already starting to look very pretty...

I have not glued the butterflies on yet but they look lovely don't they? I am so content with it already....

Happy

I am so insecure that I have tought for a long time that I was no good as an artist. The reactions from fellow students were low, the reactions from the teachers were all but encouraging when I grew in my work. Even worse, they became downright insulting. Friends told me that they could do it themselves IF THEY WISHED and fellow artists ,well they don't say all that much and give really low balloting points so I can not be found on the virtuall gallery I expose on. Sometimes I feel like I want to give up....it will never do....I will never sell one piece worth while....nobody is waiting for my work.....it's to simple........What am I thinking of???? Me wanting to be an artist. Get reall.

But then again,
last weekend, when me and my girl painted till late in the evening we had such a nice time. We sang and we chatted and I made these nice paintings at that time. Who cares what other people will say. Times like these are so prescious, because ,when I am painting, I am happy! And that is all that counts.

PS the paintings are a bit hazy because I was so tired I could not keep the camera still ;-)
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Question 1

Following is the very first Question I wil answer.
It's not the first time I am doing this, I remeber writing down my dreams and goals about 5 years back in time. Just before I went back to be a teacher again after a long period of being quenched. I had a coach and she was good. She let me talk and then asked Questions. Most of the time my thoughts got organised because of that. Except on one point. I wanted to be an artist, but being a teacher instead she advised me to keep my painting and writing as a hobby and focus on what I studied for. She was really persistant in that and I gave way to her arguments. I could be creative as a history teacher as well I lied to myself. And of course she would be right in saying that creativity would vanish when it became something I had to do in order to make a living. I had heared that many times before. Eventhough I was not really convinced I went back to teaching.... I still maintained 6 months on the job, then my dad became seriously ill and I got so overwrought I had to stay at home. Nearly a year later my dad died and I made him a promisse to pursue MY dreams. That was 3 years ago.

So here I am, doing just that what I promissed him and above all myself! Asking myself questions on the how's and when's and what's and why's of my dreams.Feeling dizzy all the time because of the many dreams I have and having to narrow them down to a few so I can concentrate on "The Biz" instead of the "What would be my dreamiest dream". Now I don't have to dream anymore, I can start building.

The First Question asks the following:
-In your wildest dreams, what does your creative biz look like? Are you working fulltime? Part time? What does your everyday schedule look like?

In my WILDEST dreams I have a little house-like studio in which I do all my creating, it's light and bright there. Prefferably in a green green flowery garden,where I can walk in and where nature is at its best. I will paint outside in the garden in summer and inside in the winter,where I will have an nice fire burning.I paint the day away, and I will write and make objects, design al sorts of things. Create like I never did before.
I would also give workshops, having High Tea(Thanks Daphne for that lovely idea) or go out on a picknick and paint on a pretty day here in the dunes or on the beach.
My workshedule is something I can't define yet,because of my kids. Being a single mom I have to devide my attention between work and homemaking. I will try a shedule and see what works best. That will be one of my goals for the upcoming month.

This is the dream I am building.I have been astray for a while and thought I wanted something completely different. But in the end I always came back to this......not just in my dreams but also when I was doing research for that other dream. Seems a bit silly right? But then again....when the heart whispers it is not always easy to hear it right the first time.....
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~Small update~

Kleine update...
De foto is niet zo best , het was al donker toen ik het op de foto zette. Morgen komt er een betere foto...NADAT ik weer verder gewerkt heb natuurlijk.

Small update ...
The picture is not so good, it was already dark when I took it. Tomorrow, a better one ... AFTER I worked on it of course.

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~Painting in progress~

Gisteren eindelijk verder gegaan met dit schilderij....ik ben er inmiddels al een half jaar mee bezig en ik kreeg het maar niet goed....nu lijkt er eindelijk schot in te zitten.....ben helemaal blij met het kleurenpalet.

Yesterday I finally did proceed with this painting. I have started it half a year ago, and I just did not get it right....I think I will succeed now...I am so happy with the range of colours.

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